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Is papa left behind?
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While Mother's Day is celebrated with excitement, Father's Day is still not as popular. PRINCE FREDERICK analyses the reasons behind this step-`motherly' treatment.
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IF THERE is a Mother's Day (MD), simple logic dictates that there must be a Father's Day (FD). If MD makes city residents trip over each other to get the best greeting cards in town, FD seems to leave them cold with indifference. When you would be reading this piece, one more Father's Day would have come and gone (June 15), in all probability, with little acknowledgement, and even less celebration.
Though some greeting stores (usually the ones catering for the up-end market) do have some FD greetings, the collections are no patch on the ones you find for MD or Valentine's Day for that matter. However, some "wish-sites" on the Net do have FD greeters that grab you by the throat. But these dotcoms have hardly anything to do with Chennai. Most of them have their "strings" pulled from Western countries. "Chennai turns a cold shoulder to FD because the observance is as American as apple pie," says a youngster. But so is MD. Let us face it. It all boils down to this simple fact: while MD has caught fire around the world, FD (for many) is yet to be cause enough for celebration.
As fathers in the city (and probably in the whole country) are trying to come to grips with this, let us try to sift through the reasons, if any, for the relative unpopularity of fathers.
"Children greet their mothers on MD probably because mothers would appreciate such gestures much more than (would) fathers," says Rajiv Suresh. Crystal Fernandez says, mothers may be more popular because "they attend to the `creature comforts' of their children. Many a dad would not be caught dead wheeling his baby in a pram on a road. And the bonding with mothers starts early".
Mike Eliseou is a British expatriate living in Alwarpet. He is the chairman of the British Business and Social Club, Chennai. He says his sons who live in Leicester, United Kingdom, never fail to send him greetings and gifts ("some gadgets or the other") on FD. "In Britain, Father's Day is very popular; in other parts of Europe, it is gaining ground."
On the query "who's more popular - mothers or fathers?", he says that mothers manage to have the children eating out of their hand. "Don't ask me why! There does not seem to be any reason for it. If there is, I am not able to put a finger on it," says Eliseou.
Sivakumaran is a father of two. He thinks "women tend to fuss over their children; men are not as effusive in their expression of love.
Children always have their mother's ear, be it the pangs of having a pimple, or a job-termination order. This availability touches a chord with them (children). Fathers step in only when the situation merits intervention; they do not have an ear for imaginary problems."
Prabhakar Peters, a software engineer, says that he got tuned into the FD greeting practice, when he was working in the United States a few years ago. "In the U.S., you would be informed in advance about Father's Day, because of the number of commercials on television and local radios."
But why does one have to be informed of FD? It surely must be one `fixed' date in a year. No, it is not.
World Environment Day (WED) is always on June 5, whether the city is clean or not. FD is not as fixed as that. The date changes from year to year, as it falls on the third Sunday of June. You have to study the calendar a bit to see when you should pop those words of gratitude to your father.
Can we conclude that this the reason behind FD's lack of popularity? No, facts would militate against such a conclusion.
Even MD is not as "fixed" as WED! It (MD) is celebrated on the second Sunday of May. The date changes from year to year.
Here is the end of the matter. Mothers, after all, are just a wee bit more popular - fathers, eat your heart out. But with a little more love and time spent for your children, there is no reason why you cannot be as popular.
The beginnings...
IRONICALLY, THE observance of Father's Day began with a young woman. To locate the origin of this observance, we have to travel back in time to the dusty tracks that wind their way to a farm in rural Washington. A civil war veteran, William Smart had set up hearth there. But his life did not have the peacefulness that you normally associate with hearths and farms. As a young widower saddled with six children, he had his hands full. Though rushed off his feet by the demands of home and farm, he never complained. He brought his children up with lots of love and put them on their feet.
One of these children wanted to show his gratitude. In 1909, Sonora Louise Smart Dodd, one of William Smart's children, campaigned for a day being set aside for fathers. Since her father's birthday fell in June, she wanted "Father's Day" to be observed during that month. The very next year saw the first Father's Day celebrated on June 19. But it was a small achievement, as the celebration was confined to Spokane in Washington State.
After some more lobbying, American President Calvin Coolidge beat the drums for Father's Day in the 1920s. He expressed his view that Father's Day could be a national holiday. But it took many more years for Sonora's wish to reach its logical conclusion. In 1966, American President Lyndon Johnson declared Fathers' Day as a national holiday that would be celebrated on the third Sunday of June.
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